It's hard to believe that a year ago we were mailing our dossier. A year ago!
Having no knowledge of how many people were ahead of us in the Ethiopia (ET) program with our agency, I naively thought we would have a referral sometime during 2012.
With each passing month and with each email update from our agency, the hopes in a 2012 referral shrunk...and then shriveled up and died. Things had come nearly to a screeching halt in regard to referrals. Only one or two have gone out each month for the past few months. I also realized we were nearly at the bottom of the list. Unless something changes with the ET government's processing of referrals, I have pretty much despaired of a 2013 referral at this point.
It is hard not to be frustrated by this process. I read posts like this one--and I know she is speaking truth. Rooms full of children in cribs. No perception of hope, no reason to hold to it--does it even exist? They don't know there are families (not enough, though) longing to give them love, home, permanence.
So I get really frustrated that slow-moving bureaucracy has begun to move at an even slower pace. Part of me just wants to know--how hard is it match up these waiting children with waiting families? I mean, I know it's not an easy process. I get that it's a forest's worth of paperwork for each child/family, but seriously. Children are just wasting their days in orphanages, not knowing that anything could ever be different. We're over here twiddling our thumbs and reading statistics that make our stomachs churn at the sheer volume of children in distress and poverty and hunger.
But I have to weigh all of this against the fact that God is sovereign. He doesn't waste anything. Not a drop of suffering, not a minute of waiting. As John Piper said once, "God is always doing 10,000 things in your life. You might be aware of three of those things."
I can't see the big picture. I can't see the tapestry of goodness He is weaving in many lives. But I know it's there.
So, we wait. On foreign entities, on a an ever-changing process that isn't an exact science, on the list to move.
And we wait on a dependable, faithful God whose timing is perfect.
In the meantime, however, our life is busy and full. We had to update a slew of paperwork in December/January. Knowing that we have to redo it all again this year is a bit frustrating, but oh well. That's just the nature of this process. We will willingly jump through all the hoops they tell us to jump through if it will get us to Ethiopia.
While we wait, we have a few big things going on. We are already in preparation mode for our 2nd Annual Mother's Day 5K walk/run and 10K run. We are hoping to raise money for a couple of local families who are adopting. We, along with another adopting family at church, were the beneficiaries of this race last year, so we are excited to extend the funds that are raised to other families in our area who are seeking to bring children home. May 11th is the day of this race.
We're also really excited that we are *almost* ready to release a CD! William and I wrote and recorded 12 songs that will soon be available to the public. My husband has worked hours and hours and hours mixing and mastering. We are NOT professionals, but we're pleased with our homespun project. :) I'm a little nervous about putting my music out there for the world (all ten of you!) to hear....it's kind of like opening my journal and letting you have a look at my private thoughts. But, my husband has long believed that I have something to say with my music, and he has worked hard to put it in your hands.
Our album has been sent for copyrighting and reproduction. Our first 300 copies should come back to us soon, and then we can start selling them. They will be available for ordering or downloading (or both if you prefer a download plus a hard copy). Be prepared for a LOT of blog posts upcoming as we promote our music. The proceeds of this album will, Lord willing, fund our travel costs to Ethiopia (two trips) whenever we are finally matched with a child(ren).
There are a lot of things I want to say about our music...this album is a walk through our ten years of marriage, our infertility, our learning to trust the Lord's wisdom and sovereignty, the adoption of our son, and the things we have been blessed with through Love & Family, which is the title of the album. In addition to making people aware of the CD, I am looking forward to blogging about a few of the songs individually so that you can know the stories behind the songs. Maybe I can twist William's arm and you'll see a post or two from him about some of his songs. :)
If you have a blog and are interested in helping us promote our CD, we would be so grateful. Just let me know. :)
I'll leave you with a picture of Isaiah. He is currently loving swimming lessons and Handy Manny. He is full of energy and keeps us on our toes constantly. I am having a hard time believing that he will be FIVE in June and starting kindergarten this fall. What in the WORLD. Why didn't somebody tell me his childhood would fly by so quickly??? (Actually, I'm pretty sure this is the most-given word of advice I have received as a mom: Enjoy it. It goes by quickly. Why am I not heeding this??)